Friday, September 5, 2008

Well I'm officially divorced.

Today was my court date with my husband of 19 years. Although we have been living apart for over 2 years, it was strange to walk into the court room and realize that this is really going to be official. This was all my decision and my choice, this is what I wanted, I have been happier without him in my life for over 2 years now, but it was still kind of sad. We have two beautiful children together.....and 19 years of marriage just ended. I truely did love him with all of my heart for many many years. But when someone chips away at your heart time and time and time again, there comes a point when you just shout (STOP!) I have had enough.
I woke up......I just woke up one day and said....that's it....I'm done.....I have nothing left to give, and my heart is now 100% broken. There was no turning back after that. Living apart for over two years......I knew eventually we would both move on. Although I don't think that he has moved on by conversations that we have had, I moved on along time ago. It feels good. It does feel good to be divorced officially and I can say it out loud (I'M DIVORCED) No more....my husband.....or my husband (soon to be x)......now I can officially say my X HUSBAND!
There is a part of me that wants to celebrate....there is a part of me that wants to go out and get stupid drunk and have a good time.....
But the OLDER WISER part of me says.......man am I tired today, I could go home and take a nap. LOL
Ok well I'm off to go make myself some coffee.....work is going very very slow today...feels like it's never going to end.
Hope everyone has a great weekend!

10 comments:

Marci Knecht said...

I have mixed emotions for you - on the one hand I'm happy that your're happy and that you're finally "free", but on the other hand I'm sad that it came to that for you after so many years.

There's nothing wrong with doing a little celebrating - I'd say that you've earned it. Go out and enjoy yourself. ;)

Cherie Averill said...

:hugs: Carla! It's definitely a surreal day for you - isn't it? Love ya, girly!

Lisa said...

Wow, it's gotta be so weird to say "ex-husband" now. Lots of hugs for you Carla. You're such a strong woman. Have a glass of wine tonight and remember that when one door closes, another one opens. (((( hugs ))))

Cricket said...

Carla, I'm happy for you if you are happy, and it sounds like this is really what you have wanted for a long time. It is hard to see relationships end, but you know what they say...when one door closes, another opens! Here is to open doors for your future!

smiles,

Suzy said...

{{{HUGS}}} With each ending comes a new beginning. Sit back and enjoy the New beginning you are starting today!

~Suzy

Kim said...

{{{{HUGS}}}} to you Carla! I'm sure as much as you wanted it, it wasn't easy to go through. Here's to hoping you find that open door soon!

Glenda T. said...

Congrats and hugs Carla and I say go and get silly drunk and have fun!! You can always nap tomorrow! haha

Tracy Lathrop said...

Congrats Girly!!! I know that you have been wanting this over now for awhile and I am just so proud of you for standing up for yourself and saying "enough is enough"!! It was so good seeing you yesterday and Girl I gotta say I think this change in your life is doing you good because you look fabulous!! Keep taking care of you!!! Oh, before I forget Amy and I are signing up for the Heart and Soul Nov. 7,8,& 9!!!!!! I can't wait!!!

Jenna Franklin said...

You know I've been right there with ya, sweetie! I totally get the mixed emotions and all! I'm so happy that you're done with the "process" though - that's seriously the hardest part! Big hugs - call me if you wanna chitchat!

Wati Basri said...

*hugz* Carla